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January 27, 2005

Burns Supper in Northern Thailand

“Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the pudding-race!
Aboon them a' yet tak your place,” (Robert Burns, To a Haggis)

I was greeted with vacant looks after my shaky rendition of ‘To a Haggis’. To be fair, I’m not really sure what half of it means myself. “Sonsie Face” - what the feck does that mean? Our home made Thai haggis went down well, a couple of people even had second helpings. There were eight of us for dinner and one wee yin (Luca is two years old). Everyone had a good time; we had beers and “100 Pipers” whisky, Thailand’s answer to Scottish cooking whisky (Bells, Teachers that kind of thing). Got a bit of a sair heid the day though.

I’m sure everyone can’t wait to try out our Veggie Haggis recipe.

• 8 small onion, peeled & finely chopped


• 15ml/1tbsp olive oil


• 4 carrots, very finely chopped


• 1 ½ cups of yellow beans (kind of like lentils)


• 3 large cups Quaker breakfast oats


• 600ml/1 pint stock


• cup of ground peanuts


• cup of ground cashew nuts


• 2tbsp (soy sauce)


• Juice of 2 limes


• 2 spoons of ground black pepper


• dash of chilli sauce


• Bunch fresh holy Basil (thai)


• A generous shot of whisky

1. Pre-heat the oven to 190C, 375F or Gas Mark 5
2. Sautee the onion in the oil for 5 minutes, then add the carrot and cook for a further 5 minutes.
3. Now add the lentils and three quarters of the stock.
4. Add the nuts, soy sauce, lime juice and seasonings. Cook everything, well mixed together, for a further 10 to 15 minutes.
5. Then add the oatmeal, reduce the heat and simmer gently for 15 to 20 minutes, adding a little extra liquid if necessary.
6. Turn the mixture into a lightly oiled 1lb loaf tin and bake for 30 minutes.
7. Serve with mashed neeps and tatties.

Posted by jon jack at 2:55 AM | Comments (3)

January 23, 2005

Mae Sariang

We spent a couple of days in Chiang Mai, wandering round the night bazaar which seems to be the thing to do. Our hotel in Chiang Mai was great with a rooftop pool and bar. After a very bu-u-u-um-m-m-p-p-py bus ride we got to Mae Sariang, home for the next four months. Scott is not around until mid February, so we weren’t really sure what was happening when we got off the bus. We eventually found the house, but no key. Thankfully there were people there, not really sure if they were there to meet us or just there to watch the TV. It’s a good place like that – people constantly coming and going so we’ll never be stuck for company.

It’s been a frantic couple of days since we arrived, meeting different groups, organisations, individuals. Abby and I have the use of a motor bike while we are here, so we had a thorough ten minute lesson on how to drive it yesterday, all good though.

Well, work starts on Monday, Abby at the school and me kind of all over the place. I’ve got four web sites to build, three interns to train, networks to set up, PCs to fix (Craig if you’re reading expect an e-mail any day soon). Can’t really say much more about what we will be doing, due to the nature of our work. Everyone has been great since we arrived, very hospitable.

Seeing as it’s Burns Night on Tuesday, we’ve decided to have a Burns Supper. I’ve been all over town trying to find ingredients for a vegetarian haggis, with minimal success. Not so easy finding rolled oats and pin head oat meal in northern Thailand. Never mind, the old ‘ply them with whisky’ trick never fails, nobody will have a clue what they’re eating anyway. I bet you can’t wait for the recipe.

Posted by jon jack at 11:18 AM | Comments (1)

January 21, 2005

Monk Chat in Chiang Mai

“do not work for money, only work in something you enjoy.” This was the reply I got from a Buddhist monk, when asked “what’s the key to a happy life?” well there you have it.. I cant agree more. I’ll rewind a bit here, in case you think I accosted some poor monk in the street. Wat Phra Singh (wat means temple-monastery) at this temple in town they have something called “Monk Chat”. It gives novice monks a chance to practice their English and visitors a chance to learn about Buddhism and Thai life.

Posted by jon jack at 11:09 AM | Comments (1)

January 18, 2005

Bangkok and the Khao San Road

“The only downer is everyone’s got the same idea, we all travel thousands of miles just to watch TV and check into somewhere with all the comforts of home. And you you’ve got to ask yourself, what’s the point.” (Alex Garland, The Beach)
That’s the Khao San Road. We got into Bangkok early morning after an over night flight from Johannesburg. Bit spaced out from lack of sleep and jetlag. Between Jo’burg and Bangkok, someone stole my leatherman multitool thing and my new beard trimmer my Mum gave me for Christmas. I’m walking about looking like teenwolf at the moment.

Bangkok is busy, hot and humid. It’s overwhelming. Too much to take in - the smells from the road side food stalls, the noise from the traffic, the colours of the silks and fake designer gear on show. I like it here, sitting on the kerbside having our 15 baht noodles for dinner, drinking a White Russian at the roadside Volks bar (a converted VW camper that is driven up at night and turns into an impromptu cocktail bar). Everything moves at a hundred miles an hour, everything and everyone feeding off everything else. The dude on the street takes you to the boat trip guy, he gets his cut. The boat trip guy takes you to the women with the little boat selling beers on the river, he gets his cut, she gets the custom. Its costs you to get off the boat. It’s a chaotic place that seems to function well, everyone doing their bit to get their cut. Like business at home no? Everyone does everyone favours, at the right price of course.

Everything is dirt cheap, but the problem is that you buy lots of every thing. DVDs, Diesel jeans, Ralph Lauren shirts, Stussy t-shirts, Rolex watches, Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool, Real Madrid, Barcelona, Celtic, Man United shirts, you can buy it all.

Posted by jon jack at 11:02 AM

January 14, 2005

Ten top facts about Malawi

Well, I’m now sitting on the plane bound for Johannesburg listening to tunes, a wee bit bored as Abby’s sleeping. I guess our jaunt around southern Africa has come to an end. I don’t want to bore everyone with a “and then we did this and then we did that and then…” you know what I mean? Are you bored anyway? Who cares if you are, stop reading. Here’s a list of things we found out about Malawi, in no particular order. Take a note ‘The Crescent’ – you never know when victory might strike again.

1. No one knows how to make a white Russian (apart from one dude in Nkharta Bay, see previous entry)
2. Men walk about the streets holding hands. (We’ve been reliably informed that it’s not because they are gay. I guess its just holding hands in that macho way like they do at home, you know when you see all those dudes holding hands down Leith Walk.)
3. You get just over 200 kwachis to the pound
4. A beer costs 50 kwachis.
5. Women carry everything on their heads except babies which are strapped to their backs
6. Every billboard advert seems to be for soap or some sort of soap product
7. Everyone eats seema (a kind of doughy thing made from maize and water, I think they eat it all over Africa but under different names)
8. They call white people Mzungos
9. Malawi is known as ‘the warm heart of Africa’. Awwwwwwwww
10. Lake Malawi is also known as the calendar lake: 365 miles long, 52 miles across, 12 miles deep…..no, hang on, 12 miles across, 365 feet deep,…….no – 365 miles across, 52 miles deep……

There we go I know you’ll all be thrilled at that :-)

Posted by jon jack at 3:36 AM | Comments (1)

January 12, 2005

How to make a White Russian

How to make a White Russian cocktail
1 x shot of Vodka
1 x shot of Kahlua
Serve in small tumbler with lots of ice, finally add milk.

“Mzungu”: that’s what they call all ye white folk down these ways in Malawi. Not a derogatory term we’re told - more an affectionate reference to Europeans. We’ve been in Malawi over a week now and seen some cool places and met some extraordinary people. Spent the last couple of days in a little lakeside resort called Nkhyarta Bay. It’s so picturesque. There are photographs of boats on the lake and they look superimposed, kind of floating in the air as the water is so clear.

The hostel at Nkhyarta Bay is great and we’d really recommend it to anyone. Good atmosphere and amazing location. They also run a children and youth project in the town for AIDS orphans. We gave them some kit from the Meadowbank Community Football Club we’d dragged over with us (can’t get away from it no matter how far away we go!) and strips donated to us from Kilmarnock. It was good to see how much they were genuinely appreciated.

Finally managed to find somewhere in sub Saharan Africa that will make a white Russian (it’s been a mission). Keane the cocktail barman gave in and attempted to make his first white Russian. We gave him the instructions “kind of like a black Russian but instead of coke use milk” - all good. So we got a shot of vodka and a shot of coffee liqueur (no Kahlua I’m afraid). Only problem was we got half a litre of milk with it. As the Big Lebowski would say, “bummer Dude”. Second attempt was spot on, though that said, it would have been better with real milk and not powdered milk (Big Phil you would have been proud of us).

Spent the next morning snorkelling and kayaking on the lake, fantastic. Have to say I was thinking about Scotland and how the weather must be at home as I was swimming around in the sunshine with all the fish. Oh well thems the breaks I suppose. time for another cocktail.

How to make a White Russian cocktail

1 x shot of Vodka 1 x shot of Kahlua Serve in small tumbler with lots of ice, finally add milk. That how you make a white russian.

Related links
A bunch of drunks drinking white Russians
White russian
Big Lebowski Action figures, unbelievable

Posted by jon jack at 3:16 AM

January 8, 2005

Vwasa Marsh Game Reserve

Forget everything you thought about elephants. The wisest and most intelligent of animals or cute like ‘Dumbo’. They’re aggressive and big and scary. We arrived at the game reserve in the early afternoon and no sooner had we taken the bags out of the car than the guide came rushing up: “sono sono” quickly quickly. We jumped in the truck and headed into the bush. Driving along with windows down, someone shouted “tsetse flies”. Frantic activity ensued, windows up and people hitting windows with hats, hands, shoes to try and kill the things. Unbelievably of all the travel jabs we’d had, there’s no inoculation for sleeping sickness which you get from the Tsetse fly (as we know well, ‘The Crescent’pub quiz goers).

Five minutes down the road we came across a herd of about thirty buffalo and about a dozen elephants. Elephants are huge. We were informed we would be safe in the Landrover, but there was one towering over us looking very pissed off at us disturbing its chill out time. “Slowly by slowly” murmured the guide, indicating we should drive on past it. When we were about four or five metres away, it suddenly charged towards us, ears flapping, trumpeting loudly. The guide calmly informed us that this was apparently a ‘false charge’; they will charge and turn back, charge and turn back. Still scary though - I’m sure there are times when they don’t turn back.

A few weeks earlier a couple of VSO volunteers were at the game reserve. They were walking away from their accommodation when a few elephants appeared from nowhere. Excited about the chance encounter, they whipped out the cameras. The elephants didn’t like it. One of the guys managed to climb up a tree. The other got chased round and round a tree. Eventually tiring of the game, the elephant knocked him down with its trunk and sat on the guy. He had to be flown home to Dublin with internal bleeding and lucky to be alive.

We slept in little huts by the lake made up of elephant-proof twigs that night. It was fantastic - we had our dinner and our guide told us we had to go to bed at 7.30 as the hippos come out to feed next to the huts at night.

Posted by jon jack at 3:11 AM | Comments (1)

January 6, 2005

Malawi and the road to Mzuzu

5000km later and we finally arrived in Malawi. Pretty exhausted from all the driving. We stopped just over the border near Zawela, and from out of the grasses appeared a posse of inquisitive kids clothed in a random array of garments. Since coming here I’ve seen people in shell suits, velvet trilby hats, you name it. If you ever wonder where some of the gear you donate to the charity shop goes, it goes to Malawi.

They couldn’t speak much English but they all seemed to know about football when asked who the best team were. “Hibs are the best” they answered. Only kidding, it was Brazil and Ronaldo. They all could speak the international language of football and could say ‘David Beckham’ and ‘Michael Owen’. As we were leaving they started asking us for money, and then they pointed to the empty plastic water bottles and asked for them. It was hard to deal with seeing this group of children getting so animated about an empty plastic bottle.

Everywhere we’ve been the children all seem so happy, and they have absolutely nothing.

Posted by jon jack at 3:03 AM | Comments (1)

January 5, 2005

Mozambique and the Tete Corridor

Another early morning start - up and on the road before 8am. We had to cross over into Mozambique and drive through a stretch of road known as Tete Corridor “Mozambique has calmed down considerably from the war days when going anywhere by road meant by convoy and a high risk of attack. That said, there are still a few areas where caution is warranted” (Lonely Planet, Guide to Southern Africa, 2004).

So another border crossing, this one was a bit dodgy. It seems we were missing a form called ‘Police Report Form’ for the car. The police told us it would take four to five hours to process without one, but that we could go through instantly for (ahem) a small fine of 20 US Dollars. We got through to the Mozambique side of border control where you had to pay for everything. $10 for a stamp in your passport on top of the £40 Visa we got back in the UK.

I think we were all a bit apprehensive about going through Mozambique, not unnecessarily with a long civil war ending five years ago. The aftermath is a country littered with unexploded land mines. “It’s unsafe to free camp or go wandering off into the bush anywhere in Mozambique without first seeking local advice. Even then, stick to well-used paths.” (Lonely Planet, Guide to Southern Africa, 2004). If you need the toilet on the drive through you are told not to leave the road for risk of standing on a mine.

The people we met were all very friendly - it seems like a country that is finding its feet after very hard times. A very short visit to Mozambique - maybe stay longer next time.

Posted by jon jack at 8:02 PM | Comments (5)

January 4, 2005

Have You Ever Shot a Zebra?

We spent the night at the Pa-Nyanda Lodge, which was unbelievably opulent. The accommodation consisted of traditional style cottages with stone walls which kept them nice and cool. Our hosts were great, giving us an insight into Zimbabwe. Malcolm is 55, white and had only left Africa for the 1st time a couple of years ago. He described the Zimbabwe that the tourists see: “if you imagine Zimbabwe as a bottle of milk, you guys only get to see the cream at the top, not what happens underneath”. After spending a couple of days driving through Zimbabwe I think I kind of understand. Everywhere we go there is evidence of the disastrous ‘Land Reform’ Policy. Obvious fertile arable land sits fallow as weeds take over where once white farmers ran productive operations.

An old page of newspaper we came across (Zimbabwe Chronicle, 30th November 2004) detailed a visit by Mugabe to a local secondary school where he donated computers and made a speech. Some of this speech was quoted in the paper and made for interesting reading:

"The white flag you see does not represent the whites but the whiteness in our hearts, as honest people. Wee fought the whites and said that after fighting it’s now all over and said let’s reconcile provided you are now prepared to obey the new order, accept rule by the majority. Even you Mr Ian Douglas Smith [leader of Zimbabwe until its independence] we will forgive you, otherwise we will have had to cut your head off but we have allowed you to keep it, it is a borrowed head, because really it belongs to us."

We had a 7.00 am start in the morning as we arranged to go on a ‘game walk’ at dinner the previous evening. We set out armed with our cameras and within fifteen minutes we were standing in front of a half a dozen zebras. Our guide asked me, “have you ever shot a zebra?” Not yet, but there’s a first time for everything. Ten minutes later and we entered a clearing where a group of giraffes were feeding. It was amazing to see these animals in their own habitat, not really scared of us or paying us that much attention.

Harare was busy, frantic and scary. We drove through the capital at around lunchtime and decided to just keep on driving. After we had passed the police roadblocks to get in and out again, I felt relieved. I found the place pretty scary and felt threatened. Every town or city we pass seems to have a Robert Mugabe Street or Robert Mugabe Ave. He must be very popular to have all these streets named after him. Or something….

Posted by jon jack at 8:57 PM

January 3, 2005

Zimbabwe / South Africa Border Crossing

“Fifty-five US dollars for your Visa”, the border guard grumbled. Abby handed him a $50 and a $5 dollar note. I only had three $20 notes, which I handed over. The guard then tried to tell us he had no change to give, though after a while he eventually pulled out a bundle of notes of all sizes - 10s 20s - and of course the $5 Abby had just handed him. Welcome to Zimbabwe.

We got through immigration with no real hassles (our hosts later that evening told us of some guests who were held there for eight hours). I was a bit alarmed when we did actually get through the gates as about six or seven men appeared from out of nowhere and ran towards the jeep shouting and waving their hands madly in the air. It turned out they were trying to get us to exchange our foreign currency with them.

On first impression Zimbabwe seems easier to take than South Africa. It’s not so ‘in your face’ with the rich and poor living side by side. The rural areas seem very rudimentary with a prevalence of subsistence farming, yet it seems far more preferable to the people crammed into the ramshackle townships that seemed to accompany every city in South Africa (out of sight most of the time but there all the same).

We managed to go on a tour of the great Zimbabwe monument (this is where Zimbabwe took its name from when it changed from Rhodesia in 1979). The monument is impressive, 12th century stonework ruins scattered around a natural fortified outcropping of rock. Well worth a visit if you’re in the area.

Posted by jon jack at 6:54 PM

January 1, 2005

The morning after the night before

I’ve never seen so much sky before. We left the coast today and headed inland inching our way towards Malawi. Abby and I had our first taste of life behind the wheel. Was pretty good to drive the old Landrover Defender. We covered about 600km today - only another couple of thousand to go. We stopped for the night in Bloemfontein.

Anyway, enough driving and dodgy provisional towns, there was the whole unfortunate incident of New Year’s Eve. Well things turned out OK in the end. Abby and I ended up in the abandoned wastes of Grahamstown. “Grahamstown is the capital of the settler country and borders and it still feels like a strange English transplant. The large student population breathes life into this otherwise conservative, Victorian era town” (Lonely Planet Guide to Southern Africa). Now if you disregard the student life bit then you’re nearly there. Seems that some people have hung on to the Victorian era values too. Try “The black townships? Well, they’re no worse than Ireland in 1840…” Hmmmm. After a couple of drinks later we stumbled back to the farmhouse for dinner and to mingle with the other guests.

Dinner was cool, a laid back affair where everyone helped themselves and plenty of wine to go round. Then materialising like some apparition the hymn sheets and music arrived. Now I can’t really describe what happened next but luckily for everyone we took a few pictures and … with James Bondesque stealth I managed to record some of the proceedings onto my camera with the handy in-built microphone.

We did ring the NewYear in as promised and it was certainly a memorable way to start 2005.

Posted by jon jack at 10:47 PM