Ten top facts about Malawi

Well, I’m now sitting on the plane bound for Johannesburg listening to tunes, a wee bit bored as Abby’s sleeping. I guess our jaunt around southern Africa has come to an end. I don’t want to bore everyone with a “and then we did this and then we did that and then…” you know what I mean? Are you bored anyway? Who cares if you are, stop reading. Here’s a list of things we found out about Malawi, in no particular order. Take a note ‘The Crescent’ – you never know when victory might strike again.

1. No one knows how to make a white Russian (apart from one dude in Nkharta Bay, see previous entry)
2. Men walk about the streets holding hands. (We’ve been reliably informed that it’s not because they are gay. I guess its just holding hands in that macho way like they do at home, you know when you see all those dudes holding hands down Leith Walk.)
3. You get just over 200 kwachis to the pound
4. A beer costs 50 kwachis.
5. Women carry everything on their heads except babies which are strapped to their backs
6. Every billboard advert seems to be for soap or some sort of soap product
7. Everyone eats seema (a kind of doughy thing made from maize and water, I think they eat it all over Africa but under different names)
8. They call white people Mzungos
9. Malawi is known as ‘the warm heart of Africa’. Awwwwwwwww
10. Lake Malawi is also known as the calendar lake: 365 miles long, 52 miles across, 12 miles deep…..no, hang on, 12 miles across, 365 feet deep,…….no – 365 miles across, 52 miles deep……